Great Musicians Who Probably Live Down Dark Alleys

There are some people who make great records and are actually really amazing people in real life too; Vic Godard, as is Pete Wylie, Edwyn Collins and the whole line-up of Dodgy (more about them in later blogs). There are others, however, who come across at least as really unpleasant people, even if their music is really inspiring. I have to admit that I haven’t met any of the following people but nor would I want to particularly:

1) ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’ – The Smiths (Single – 1984)

Okay, most of The Smiths’ line-up seemed nice enough, but Morrissey? It’s bad enough hearing the stories about his cavalier behaviour but can you imagine being in a band with him? That sounds like absolute torture. Morrissey is a genuine one-off; his lyrics were unbelievably clever, sometimes downright hilarious and he is a truly original performer, but – hand on heart – who but the most ardent fan would want to hang out with him? I think he would try the patience of Job. I want to carry on enjoying his music and to do that I think it’s best to keep this one at a wide berth (not that I’m likely to run into at the supermarket or anything).

2) ‘Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On’ – Jerry Lee Lewis (Single – 1957)
It’s even more unlikely that I would ever encounter Jerry Lee Lewis, but let’s add him to the list anyway. He may be pretty advanced in years now but this is a man who once shot his bass-player for looking at him the wrong way. Not to mention the time he famously married his own 13 year old cousin. I try not to think too much about Jerry Lee’s lifestyle when I listen to his records. He was brilliant though.

3) ‘Bournemouth Runner’ – The Fall (from ‘Bend Sinister’ – 1986)

I’ve admired Mark E Smith’s work with The Fall for many years but I hope I never meet him, mainly because I want to continue to be a fan. The seemingly endless tales of abusive behaviour with band members doesn’t exactly paint the nicest of picture of him as a person. It may all be exaggerated but let’s stay on the safe side.

4) ‘Licking Stick’ – James Brown (Single – 1968)

James Brown was one of the most important musicians of all time. I do realise that he’s been dead for a few years now but he’s certainly another musician I would not like to have met. I’m sure he had numerous good points but the violence against the numerous women in his life would seem to offset all of that.  Not to mention the fact that he used to fine musicians every time they made the slightest musical error. What a tyrant.  His music was wonderful of course.

5) ‘Cold To The Touch’ – The Brian Jonestown Massacre (Single – 1995)

The leader of the Brian Jonestown Massacre is the hugely talented Anton Newcombe. Despite having battled drug addiction throughout his career he is one of the most prolific musicians of his generation. He is the kind of man who could release an album even if was stranded on a uninhabited desert island with no musical equipment whatsoever let alone a post office. Easy going he is not, though. Apparently he makes Mark E Smith seem like the most reasonable man in the business. He’s prone to violent outbursts (some directed at fans in the audience) and is totally self-destructive. I like his records but I think I’ll admire from afar.

6) ‘Public Image’ – PIL (Single – 1978)

I’ve enjoyed John Lydon’s work over the years and sometimes found him entertaining in interviews but I still wouldn’t want to meet the man. Something tells me that he’d find me annoying and the feeling would be mutual. I might be wrong but I wouldn’t want to take the risk. Better to keep enjoying the music I think.

7) ‘Love Minus Zero/No Limit (from ‘Bringing It All Back Home’ – 1965)

I’ve admired Bob Dylan’s music for such a long time and am so in awe of his talent that I would hate to meet him. He is famously so difficult. I realise that a lot of years have passed since ‘Don’t Look Back’ but…

8) ‘Waiting For The Man’ – The Velvet Underground (from ‘The Velvet Underground & Nico)

So there’s no chance of me ever meeting Lou Reed now, is there? But I don’t think I’d ever want to bump into him in the afterlife either. I love his records as much as anybody (well with the exception of Metal Machine Music, of course) but Lou was famously a hard man to get along with and meeting the man even put Lester Bangs off his music. Hope you’re having a good time wherever you are, Lou, anyway.